Why are Women so Bad at Finding "Me" Time?

By Helen Godfrey, MA, NCC, BCC, LPC


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In our society, women have been used to serving their family first and putting themselves on the back burner for centuries. It’s common for both career-focused women and women who have families (whether they work outside the home or in the home, or both) to still be the main person doing the family care.

The problem is, without having some "me" time you can become resentful, depressed, and even sick. Let’s explore some of the reasons women are so bad at finding "me" time.


It’s Cultural 

Most cultural ideals flow from religion, but it’s not really any particular religion that is the cause of women failing to take "me" time.  It’s just that in most cultures women are the caretakers of the family. Women are the ones who serve freely. Women are supposed to be meek and serve. That’s why more women become teachers and nurses than IT managers. It’s in your DNA and in your traditions. But, make no mistake, it’s not in any religious text that you can’t take time for yourself.

They Think It’s Selfish

Many men and women think that a woman taking time for herself is being selfish. After all, everyone needs her. But, if you notice, most men certainly do not have problems taking time for themselves. They tend to have more hobbies and more outside interests than work and family than women. Why is this? If men can do it, why not you?

It’s Hard to Envision

The truth is, most women cannot even imagine taking any time for themselves. They don’t have enough time in their day to do everything, and probably already feel as if the bottom will fall out if they even take a shower daily. If you can’t imagine it, you can’t do it. Take some time to try to imagine what you’d do if you just had one hour to yourself a week.

No Support

There are some women who truly have no support in their lives to enable them to take even five minutes to themselves. They don’t get support from anyone either, because the people in their lives aren’t helpful, or because they lost people, or because they never thought to ask anyone.

We Don’t Ask for Help

Many women think that needing help is weak. The truth is, people who ask for help are much stronger than people who don’t. Everyone needs help. There isn’t a person alive who can or should do everyone all by themselves. Whether it’s paid help or volunteer help via friends and family, you need to ask for help.

Women are bad at finding "me" time because they probably don’t realize how important it is to their health and the health of their family. It’s not a selfish thing to do because you need to be healthy, happy and well-rested in order to be the best you that you can be.


You may find these articles helpful:

3 Essential Life Hacks for Optimal Physical Well Being

5 Ways to Embrace Imperfection

6 Life Hacks for Optimal Emotional Health

8 Benefits of Spending Time Alone

Creating What You Want in Life

Journaling to Grow and Thrive

Why You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty for Prioritizing Yourself